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Can’t We All Just Get Along?

by Carrie Cheadle

15 Jun 10

I know this title is overused and cliche, but seriously… why can’t we?  Why can’t cyclists and cars happily and peacefully share the road?  Isn’t sharing, like, one of kindergarten’s ten commandments?  Shouldn’t we all have that down by now?  For the past couple of years I’ve been thinking about submitting an article to the Bohemian–really more of a plea in the form of an article about getting cyclists and drivers to share the road.  When I imagined writing the piece, I always thought I would start with this story about a horrible incident with a deranged driver that I experienced several years ago–the first time I decided to “train” for a bike event in honor of my dear friend who had been recently diagnosed with MS.  But really, that story is boring.  What I mean is, every cyclist has one (or more likely several) of those stories and sharing mine just puts more anger in the universe and makes people think of their own stories that make them angry.  I would just start an angry domino effect.  So then I thought maybe I’d delve into the psychology of people who just flat out refuse to share the road.  What compels someone to feel the need to blare their horn, yell mean things, throw random objects, and swerve 4000 pounds of metal towards me?  It would be easy for me to rant and rave about all of the (expletive) drivers out there who have endangered my life because apparently the only joy they have in theirs is messing with cyclists, but as I thought about it more I decided–I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to take that road.  So instead, I decided to write a love letter:

I want to be more than just friends

I want to be more than just friends

Dear Drivers,

Hi.  You may not know me, but I’ve been watching you.  All of you.  I know this letter is way past due, but I’m here now, spilling my heart out to you.  For those of you out there who have felt challenged to share the road with me, I know that this has been hard on you.  We’ve both done things and said things that we now regret.  I know that I flipped you off that one time and I’m sorry about that.  I was just angry and scared.  I was putting my needs before yours, but I’m over that now.  I don’t want you to spend energy feeling anger towards me.  Let’s not fight anymore.  I don’t want you to carry hatred in your heart.  I want you to have joy in your life.  I want you to find something that fills you so completely, fills you so full of passion for life that you can’t help but live in harmony with everyone around you, even me–the (expletive) cyclist on the road.

Even more importantly, I need to say thank you to all of the drivers out there who have been willing to share the road with me and my fellow cyclists.  We are Moms and Dads, brothers and sisters, Aunts and Uncles, sons and daughters, spouses and friends who share a love of getting outside and being on our bikes.  We are good people and you recognize that.  I know I have neglected you by not showing you my appreciation, but I’m here to do that now.  Thanks to those of you who move over a bit to give me a little extra room (and do so safely without driving into oncoming traffic around a blind corner).  Thanks to those of you who patiently wait behind me until it’s safe for you to pass.  Thank you to all of the drivers out there who support me being on my bike regardless of whether or not you ride one yourself.  I think I love you.  There I said it.  And you don’t even have to say it back.  I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you for sharing the beautiful roads of Sonoma County with me–the place we all live in, love, and call home.

Yours truly,

That (expletive) cyclist

XXX OOO

5

COMMENTARY

by Erika

15 June 2010

Brilliant Carrie!

by Coach Bobo

15 June 2010

well done, you *&%$#*! cyclist! Let’s all hope for better relationships between all road users.

by Carlos

15 June 2010

Well put Carrie! Bravo!

by Rob

29 June 2010

Carrie - Beautiful note, but you have it all wrong. Cycle haters don’t read —- You lost them at “Dear Drivers”. If they did read, however, you can’t change haters by appearing like a loving harmless fluffy bunny. That will just make them want to run you over more. Now they know you’re a peace loving Pu$%y. The people who intentionally drive dangerously close to you and throw things at you are not like you. They are not “rational”, or responsible. They hate loving fluffy bunnies, people dressed up in spandex and those that play soccer. They will drive whereever they F*&%king please. The only comfort you might have is they will NOT be the ones that kill you. No, they just want to scare the sh%!t out of you. They know exactly what they are doing, are paying attention and are accurately controlling their pickup. The ones that will kill you are the ones that are texting, not paying attention, distracted, or drunk. They might be sorry later that they hit you. They are rational and can understand your appeal, but they were distracted by their 3 year old in the back seat, or had to answer that text, or had to have a few too many drinks at 10:30am. It’s better to appeal to these people. You can’t change haters with a love letter. You have to go back and change they way they were raised by their parents, and perhaps their DNA.

Giving people the finger and screaming back at people doesn’t help either. Of course it make it worse. Now they know they can scare and piss off the spandex covered bunnies. That just puts a smile on their face and make them want to do it to the next cyclist.

I don’t have a solution. I think you were on the right track by trying to understand the psychology of the haters. I think you have to change the perception of how these people look at cyclists. Right now they see Peace loving, save the earth, eliteist health freaks dressed in spandex. Somehow they need to see Obnoxious, beer drinking, Oakland Raider Fans — someone they could be buds with. Perhaps wear an Oakland Raiders jersery when you ride. Ok, they’d still run you off the road and blare their horns at you, but at least they’d yell something out the window they’d yell at their buds, like “Get your fat a$$ off the road”……with as much affection as possible

by Matt

8 July 2010

Love it!

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