BIKEMONKEY

Clock’s ticking, folks. Get ready to level your guns squarely at the Cow Palace this Saturday for Bike Monkey’s 1^st Annual Cross Palace Race. We’re throwing down a major CX race in partnership with the SF Bike Expo, so no matter what your jive bike gig is, it’ll be well served. There’s a huge bike swap and trade show, a dirt jump contest, BMX stunts, a track stand stand-off, a bike fashion revue, and a lowrider cruise-down, just to get started. We’re toasting water bottles to all things bike at this expo, so regardless of how you roll, this event is for you. The 2008 Expo was big, but we’re looking to dwarf that this year. Get there early and be part of the good vibe tribe.

For those of you who’ve been living under a rock, refrigerator, or some other heavy, damp object, Cross Palace is a “monster cross” race that’ll run inside and outside of the venerated Cow Palace just south of San Francisco. We’re building the course from the ground up. Actually, we’re building the ground up. As you read this, a beautiful symphony of tractors, Bobcats, diesel fumes, and dirt, dirt, dirt is all playing out to create a course that’s bigger in all its parts. We’ve got bigger barriers (but still regulation), bigger run-ups, bigger climbs, bigger descents, bigger sportscasting (by Murphy Mack, the Sheila Moon mouthpiece from Gestalt Haus), and bigger spectator areas. That’s the “monster” in “monster cross.” All the carnage you’ve come to love, just more of it. In other words, this one goes to 11. This one is more cowbell.

With all this bigness, you’ll want to be prepared. This course won’t be roughed in too much, so the transitions off the descents may be a bit…sharp. Get that ass off the back of the saddle, check the brakes, and god help any of you freewheel-phobic fixed gear hipsters. Those run-ups? One of them is longer and steeper than the others, so do yourself a favor and practice your dismount and climbing here. Our barriers are a bit beefy, so be prepared to hoist those knees up and leave the drunken shuffle technique at home. As for the spectators, bring your best wise-assery and project it a full volume. We want massive heckling and we want it coming from all sides. Feeling shy? Grab a New Belgium beer. Because they recognize a good thing, New Belgium is kicking down USDA Grade A beer products for us. This is a delicious tool. Use it.

While we’re chatting about great supporters, Marin Bike will be there, offering demos of their rippin’ cross bikes for all of you thinking about making a change/upgrade in your cycling life. NorCal Bike Sport, Santa Rosa’s bike brain trust and mechanic to the stars, will be around, doing some wrenchin’ and retailin’. Finally, the nice folks at Camelbak are rolling down from their Petaluma HQ to kick down rad hydration systems to podium types and non-champions alike. After all, when they were asked to come on board with this, all they could say was “it’s the dirt that always wins.”

The schedule and reg fees are on the Bike Monkey website, so get over there and make your travel plans, be they across big bridges or across the street. We’ll be there, greasing your registration wheels and hawking merchandise, namely our fine quarterly magazine, which has been unanimously cited by our own staff as the most outstanding cycling publication in the United States. Anyone at the SF Bike Expo, cross-racer or not, gets a deal on a new subscription, so get excited to get excited about signing up for our mag.

Can’t decide? Clock’s ticking. Tick Tock. Tick Tock.